Ahh poop. You gotta admit, it's pretty funny...?

He says, "It's so good to see you man! You know I love you! You know me! I always loved you!" Then he says "You've got a bit of a belly now eh??"

I say "Ummm, yeah, I'm on a diet as we speak."

I'm freaked out and he looks like Duncan from Blue!! Bleuch blau bleuuury. We dance and he shows me the pictures of his ex-fiancee (?!?!) on his phone. He called today and we are going to meet up for a drink. I think we are going to be great friends. Maybe I'll be invited to the wedding. I will spill wine on her dress, snap the head off the tiny groom on top of the cake and slow-clap when the speeches are being made. I will also bring my boyfriend, Justin Timberlake.
Really though, it's odd because I know that he's an ass, I'm not bitter. But he makes me laugh so I will consider being his friend.

Because Stirling is a city now they have put up a sign on the way in that says "Living, breathing, stirling". I discussed it with my family at dinner and we decided that more accurate is "Minging, thieving, stirling"