A completely unproductive way to pass your time.

In case anbody is interested.

Fly little penguin!!!

A tribute to the ladies and gentlemen who pull the strings in the Scottish public education system.

"A spokesman for Alston’s school said it would not be expelling him"

Should this "PROMISING young rugby player" be expelled or left to finish his studies? He will be disciplined by the courts anyway.

Usually, students are "asked to leave" before news gets into the papers to protect the reputation of the school. This time it has happened the other way round so the reputation has already taken a bashing. But is expulsion about reputation or discipline?

Does this send out the wrong kind of message to other pupils and prospective parents?

Jeremiah was a bullfrog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him a-drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine
Singin'...

Joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

If I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the war
Make sweet love to you
Sing it now...

Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

Dammit. I'm sure scallywag mcmuffin worked yesterday. OK, I retract that one, I only liked the word scallywag anyway.

FINE!!!

I stand by the fact that my googlewhacks are true and proper. However, the elitist meanies at googlewhack.com (and gareth) say that they aren't. Dictionary.com, officially the most catastrophically erroneous dictionary in the history of time doesn't recognise "McMuffin" (fair enough, says I) or, and this is the one that stumps me "Escapologists". Surely that is a real word?!? Or is the plural of escapologist "escapologi". NOOOO I think not, dictionary.com, a graaaave faux pas no??

So to all of you who choose to pick holes in the one thing that has made me proud of myself in my whole miserable existence, go ahead, but be aware, that as you do, my eyes are welling and my steely stores of self-respect and pride (granted that I only have small reserves of this, I am not an egotistical person, you are all aware) are being depleated and destroyed.

Go on then Johnson. You do better!

mUsT... sToP... gOoGlEwHaCkInG.....

I found many today, but my favourite is armchair escapologists. My second favourite is scallywag mcmuffin.

Let's all play shall we? Giblet is a good word to use. And Kirsty says Maypole is good too, but I disagree.

I have been doing a mood board at work this week. It mostly involves cutting out cartoon characters and sticking them to a board. Capturing the mood of a "gang" of 8-12 year olds. I have had fun. It's like being back at primary school.

Plus, it meant buying loads of magazines and with that came a nerf-esque rocket thingy and some rather fetching dog tags into which I can scratch my name, age and two other details about myself which I can't translate. ("RH"? "CHICO 10"?). Useful. In case I am killed in action, although with my nerf-esque rocket I don't know how I would be...

This is a little incongruous I know, but I have a question to all those who are more knowledgeable about this than me... Everyone: If Tony Blair is now admitting that there probably aren't any WMDs in Iraq, and Iraq said from the start that they didn't have any, and THAT was what was considered the material breach of Resolution 1441 that lead to war... Did it actually commit a material breach??
I don't mean that in any kind of ironic or sarcastic way. I'm genuinely interested. I guess it's something to do with the fact that 1441 was a UN resolution and that, in the end, the UN had very little to do with it. Any ideas??

Other than that, it is quite a sad day because even though I had been told it, I saw today that the giant inflatable ham had been taken away from outside the building near my work and this can mean only one thing. The ham convention has come to an end... And I no longer have the only chance I will ever have to steal a giant inflatable ham leg.

Crappy.

Today, I am back at work and nothing much has changed except that at lunchtime I set my pasta on fire. I have never done that before.

Honestly, what kind of bone head is able to set pasta on fire??

Ahh poop. You gotta admit, it's pretty funny...?

He says, "It's so good to see you man! You know I love you! You know me! I always loved you!" Then he says "You've got a bit of a belly now eh??"

I say "Ummm, yeah, I'm on a diet as we speak."

I'm freaked out and he looks like Duncan from Blue!! Bleuch blau bleuuury. We dance and he shows me the pictures of his ex-fiancee (?!?!) on his phone. He called today and we are going to meet up for a drink. I think we are going to be great friends. Maybe I'll be invited to the wedding. I will spill wine on her dress, snap the head off the tiny groom on top of the cake and slow-clap when the speeches are being made. I will also bring my boyfriend, Justin Timberlake.
Really though, it's odd because I know that he's an ass, I'm not bitter. But he makes me laugh so I will consider being his friend.

Because Stirling is a city now they have put up a sign on the way in that says "Living, breathing, stirling". I discussed it with my family at dinner and we decided that more accurate is "Minging, thieving, stirling"

"GILLIAAAAAN!?!"
"yes miss"
"YOU MUST NEVER DRINK VODKA EVER AGAIN, YOU KNOW IT DOESNT SUIT YOU!"
"yes miss i know but it were only fifty pee."
"I DONT CARE GILLIAN. FURTHERMORE, NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, TALK TO CHARMING, FUNNY, BOY BAND LOOKALIKE, DAWSON QUOTING EXES EVER AGAIN!!"
"shall i go and stand in the corner miss??"

Mullet Log

Friends, they are invading our living rooms. A news presenter with a gloriously pretentious mullet.

18th December 2003...
Female.
Approx. 25 years.
Presenting a news report on Catalan b.tv.
Mullet of a sneakily stylish persuasion. Dark brown in colour though with some fairly dandy red highlights. What was most catching to us as we watched, bemused, was the fringe. Short, finishing about half way down the middle of the forehead and sweeping across to the left from a messed up parting on the right. One can't help but think that had it just been short hair, it MIGHT have been acceptable. But WHY scar yourself with the abomination that is ...

Gilly is learning, paddy is teaching. I can do PICTURES too!!!

mmmmm refreshers...

Last night I went to see Lamb and they surprised me tremendously. We were right in the front row and the bongo man came out and shook suzie's hand. Moreover we were right in front of the bassist. Gotta love the sweet sweet bass players. If you're not familiar with it you should be.

I wore my red sunglasses with the flip up peak all the way there and all the way back. If it wasn't for the peak (and the fact that it would have dug into my face) I would have worn them in bed.

I am flying home tomorrow and am going to play SSX 3 with paddy all night. Yehaw!! I promise to beat him at least once.

I have quite a serious craving for refreshers right now.

ARGHH The astounding accuracy amazes me. I admit it! Now please let me get back to being cantankerous! And QUIET down there in the cheap seats!!


You are Statler or Waldorf.
You have a high opinion of yourself, as do others.
But only because you are in the balcony seats.

ALSO KNOWN AS:
Those two old guys in the box.
SPECIAL TALENTS:
Heckling, complaining, being cantankerous

QUOTE:
"Get off the stage, you bum!"

LAST BOOKS READ:
"The Art of Insult" and "How To
Insult Art"

NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT:
Their pacemakers.


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I just read a good blog with some interesting links in it. I'm going to link to it as I think it's only fair if I'm going to be stealing his information...

If you don't have time to check out his site, make sure you try this...

See what the first website is when you type the words "miserable" or "failure" or the phrase "miserable failure" into google.

True Dat.

(AND!! If you like that, TRY... typing "weapons of mass destruction" into Google, then click "I'm feeling lucky" or "Voy a tener suerte" depending where you are...)

Is everybody starting to feel more Christmassy? I hope so, days are winding down, cash registers are ringing, people are starting to plan parties. But let's remember kids, this is one of the most important feast days in the calendar of the Church. Let's not forget what's really important ok?

Terribly sorry to those who thought the last post was melancholy. I didn't mean it to be. There are complicated thoughts at the moment.

Some news about the football, don't worry I won't go on. An entirely surreal experience. Mortals are definitly not supposed to see people THAT famous up close. The stadium was packed, every seat was filled but when Madrid scored there was nothing but an eerie silence... Barcelona were valiant in the second half... But the galacticos got it... Their first defeat at the Nou Camp in 20 years. As you can imagine, the mood outside afterwards was not one of jubilation. (I feel a bit like I'm talking like the Karate Kid man... It pleases me) BUT definitely a good night if you weren't THAT bothered who won and were just there for the splendid sportsmanship.

Anyway, it was a good weekend. And on Thursday it is Roots Manuva, on Friday I WILL do Christmas shopping and on Saturday it is the Christmas party... aka flatwarming aka (pissup). You're all invited if you can make it.

Yesterday I had to take said Taxi.

I'm sorry, I am changing so much. I will understand if nobody wants to be friends with me anymore. (Just don't ask for your hoodies back...)

Today I have been watching adverts all day and haven't had anything to eat, so I don't know if it is 192 Danone, Coca Cola and Nike adverts or the lack of nourishment but I am feeling a might dizzy and I don't have much chat.

In other news, it's an exciting weekend for your Catalunyan contingent... For me, it's the Real Madrid Barça match tomorrow evening. I think I'll find a quiet bar somewhere and just sit and watch it on my own...

Today is a nice day, turning into a nice evening. The leaves on the trees outside my office are finally turning brown making it seem like a while since I landed. Has it been a while?? This Christmas time ambiguity is throwing me a bit, can the other expats concurr? Home time is good but it's not time just yet? You all can just keep visiting and keeping us topped up weegie patter and big hugs please.

Home is always going to be home, but this city sure is pretty.

have a good weekend

see you soon

Oh ho, James, what are the chances? I had just finished reading all the comments when one of my bosses came in and said "geelly, you haff to tek a taxii". So are we re-negotiated?? Thankfully, I did not take said taxiii, nor will I have to as she just did it herself instead. Fair play really, I think she must have seen the look of terror in my face...

I am now going to tell you all a little bit about my job, it seems only fair if I'm going to be whining about it, but don't worry I'll try to put in as many interesting links as I can along the way to amuse those of you with limited attention spans... like me. Are we all sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

I am working for an advertising agency in Barcelona for a year of obligatory Spanish learning as part of my degree in Hispanic Studies at Glasgow. (I don't want to write the name in case it shows up on search engines and I get in trouble... can that happen??) I work in the cuenta or accounts department on a team of five girls. Cuenta is the department that handles the client. We communicate the wishes of the client to the creative department upstairs and vice-versa. It means you have to be very organised... That's me. The account that the five of us are handling is Frigo aka Walls aka Streets etc. My job is, basically, to do all the smaller things that my four bosses don't have time to do. It's a bit like housekeeping... The latest thing has been the new price boards, you know these boards that you see when you're out and you go to a street vendor to buy an ice cream and you point at the one you want on the board..? That's the price board and there's a lot of time and thought in it. But I haven't been thinking too much, mostly checking high resolution images so that everybody has what they need and everything can run smoothly.

My year this year is about as far from my year last year as possible. I am working for a client who is spending lots of money, paying us (well, not ME) to put its logo in every country around the world. I read No Logo and while I didn't think it was a great book, I agreed with a lot of Klein's arguments, in principal. My ideas about globalisation are getting more complex; a lot of people have a tendency to think in terms of GOOD or BAD, LEFT or RIGHT...and I think like that all the time without researching or really thinking properly. Students should be the ones to think properly and carefully about their political ideologies because they seem to be the ones making the most noise, they shouldn't be band wagon-ed into shouting for something they don't know they don't agree with... But my opinions are changing. My image of the blood thirsty company executive is being changed and blurred. Well, as yet I haven't encountered any Unilever or Nestle bosses (both companies that we advertise) and from personal experience I know that they can be pretty brutal, but these ad kids aren't so bad; all young up and comings with lots of style and good teeth. They are working hard for clients, travelling about and missing out on family life just so they can provide one... It's a bit catch 22... But it is hard to get your head around. They work so that you choose Nescafe over any other coffee. They work so that even if you went in to Tescos to buy loo roll you come out with loo rolls, Nescafe Gold Blend and some Golden Grahams...
A friend in the creative department who is training to become an art director for greenpeace or similar told me it was like playing God, like getting inside people's heads and changing their thoughts, making sure that they choose your product over anybody else's.

Hard to get your head around. It's an awakening from a dream I was having last year, a small, naive dream about red paint, spray painted oil cans and Karl Marx staring down at me. But I enjoyed it. It's nice to be on this side for a while though. I listened to everything people told me while I was sorting through the "what the heck am I doing here?! This isn't meeee!!" and decided to try and learn as much as possible, it didn't mean that I was selling my soul.

PLUS, as a present, Frigo gave us a freezer full of ice cream so I will be a capitalist pig dog for as long as they want me to.



And J, my shoes are entirely practical.